A Christmas for only you alone

Christmas alone – it feels like a burden for many, something that is even hard to imagine. Because it is known to be the celebration of families, with people you love. But what happens if your loved one left you (natural cause or through a breakup), if you have a difficult family situation, you don’t talk… or you happen to be alone due to any other situation. Does Christmas alone really need to be something to be scared of?

The feeling of loneliness

What most people are scared of is not necessarily to be alone, but to encounter themselves with the feeling of loneliness. But what is the feeling of loneliness? Does loneliness exist? Not really. In fact, it is nothing but a construct in your mind, an expectation of how Christmas should be, which is not met. Because you think you shouldn’t be alone, but you are, you feel lonely, nothing else. That does not sound too romantic, I get it. But in this simple truth you can find the solution.

How to set your mind straight

First of all, it is important to accept the situation. Most likely, you cannot do anything about it. Secondly, face the possibility that even though it is not what you wanted, it can be good. Thirdly, know that the feeling of loneliness is nothing but an expectation not met. You now have the ability to create a new expectation. An expectation that can be met. So let’s think Christmas – how does your ideal Christmas look like?

The ideal Christmas

Now instead of thinking of others being present, try to create a Christmas ritual, and make it your own. What did you always miss when it comes to Christmas? If you need some ideas, watch Christmas movies and get inspired. And then start being creative: if you like cooking, why don’t you do something very special that you couldn’t eat when in company. If you like reading, buy yourself a special book. If you want to just be lazy on the couch and watch movies, this is your Christmas, go for it. Decorate the room if it feels good. Be kind and nice with yourself, give yourself a little extra love. Do everything that is good for you – it is your celebration. Own it.

Find people that are in the same situation

If you believe it or not, you are not alone. There are a lot of people in the same situation, just like yourself. If you are separated from your family for a specific reason, you might be able to join them online. If you lack the company of others, just go out. For many people relaxing in a bar is great after the family dinner, so if you head out a little later, you might have a great night. Many cities have also set up a meet-up service especially for Christmas occasions, just check the internet for solutions nearby.

Fill your heart with joy

Following the idea of Christmas: if you want to feel good and filled up with positive energy and joy, you might consider doing some voluntary work. How can you do that? Contact social services and ask if they have some activities for Christmas Eve and if they need a helping hand. You will be amazed how much this kind of giving to others will fill your own hear. And you will be automatically meeting like-minded people and be in good company.

Take a little trip

If you love traveling, this might be the right thing to do for you. What is the one thing you always wanted to do or see? Here is your chance. Book yourself your little dream escape and enjoy every moment of it. Just make sure you chose a hotel that is not necessarily a family place, this might not help. Better solution might be a single hotel. Not to couple up, but to meet people to pass a fantastic time with.

The special situation

If you lost someone, especially the first year can be tough, and you might be scared missing them will be unbearable. But on the other hand, it is an amazing opportunity to hold them in your heart and honor the time you spent together and in the same moment, let them go. To do that, create a little ritual: include things you loved doing with them in your own Christmas celebration, and hold the love you felt all these years in your heart. At the same time, understand that the love is still with you in your heart and you can keep it there, this is how it will never end. Once you honored them, make sure you give special attention to planning your special Christmas Eve dedicated to you and your happiness. And make this acts of self care your new Christmas ritual.

And last but not least

Do not wait until the last moment to do your planning, start now. Make sure this evening will be enjoyable, in the best case unforgettable. So you might be alone, but not lonely.

Here is my take on this

The first time I had to spend Christmas Eve alone, it felt a little intimidating to me as I realized – it is now me, and me alone to be responsible to make it feel like Christmas. What I tried in this article was to give you a little overview on what I did to help me get the Christmas vibe. And over time, I perfected the little ritual so much, that I am even looking forward to be alone on Christmas. And if I am not? It is always a question of finding the ritual. Also if you are with someone else, with your family. Everyone counts, everyone is important. And no ritual is unchangeable.

Tips on how to have a loving Christmas in difficult families up in the next article.

Read more on feeling the (Christmas) miracle here

Christmas concert for you? Check out my little Christmas love – something that helps me to find Christmas wherever I am